You spent your whole pathetic life trying to be good and moral worrying about weather or not god would damn you to hell for masturbating and adultery. Now you stand at the gates of heaven and a sexy angel tells you that none of that every mattered. God never cared if you watched porn or had sex before marriage. God just wants to spend forever with cool people. Who would want to spend eternity with a loser like you? Losers go to hell! But the beautiful angel is going to let you jerk off one last time, entirely guilt-free before she sends you down to the fiery gates of hell. But she’s going to make fun of you while you jerk off. Hurry up, she doesn’t want to spend eternity with you either!
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