This holiday season whatever you spend on your wife, I expect you to spend DOUBLE on ME! I’m prettier than your wife, I’m more fun than your wife, I’m sexier than your wife, and I deserve MORE than that annoying nag!

I’m prettier than your wife. I’m nicer than your wife. I’m more fun than your wife. She’s a nag, she’s a pest, and you can’t wait to leave her for Me forever. I’m everything she’s not and SO MUCH MORE!

Leave your wife. She’s not as fun as Me. She’s not as pretty as Me. She’s not as kinky as Me. She’s not as interesting as Me. Let’s face it, she’s a nagging bitch and I’m a GODDESS. Break up with your wife so you can devote your whole life to Me.